The Benefits of Being on a Men’s Team
By Anonymous
I have been active in men’s work and on a men’s team for decades. My son-in-law asked me what was the benefit of being on a men’s team. This article is an elaboration of the email I sent to him in response that I thought might be helpful for others. For personal and professional reasons I wish to remain anonymous.
What is a “Men’s Team?”
A “men’s team” is a small group of men who gather regularly in order to support the personal growth of the men involved. It is a peer support group, not a facilitated therapy or counseling context. Each men’s team is unique depending on the various members on the team. Each team meeting is unique depending on who is leading the team for that meeting and who shows up with which topics and concerns. The reality is that each member of the team co-creates the experience of the team as a whole, so if an individual wants a great team, it is up to him to help co-create it. Consider this a generalization about the benefits of being on a well-functioning men’s team.
What do I mean by “support” in the context of a men’s team?
There are several different types of support a man can receive from a men’s team. Over the years I have both received and provided a variety of support:
tactical advice;
emotional support and empathy;
physical assistance with projects;
camaraderie and deep friendship;
inspiration and encouragement and role modeling from teammates on how to be a mature healthy man.
On a well-functioning men’s team, you could expect all of these benefits to be available to you.
In my experience, men on a well-functioning men’s team will not tell you how to be a man; rather, they will support you to be the best man you can imagine for yourself. They will not tell you what to do; they will help you hone your own decision-making process so the decisions you make will have the greatest likelihood of producing the results you seek.
How can you benefit from being on a men’s team?
The men on your men’s team will have a variety of strengths and viewpoints, many of them different than yours. They will have unique life experiences and perspectives. This allows them to contribute to your life and decision-making process in ways you wouldn’t achieve on your own.
They will see and suggest options to challenges which you simply do not see.
They will spot flaws in your thinking which you are blind to.
Over time, they can see patterns in your thinking and behavior to which you are unconscious.
They will encourage you to follow your bliss.
They will help you make commitments that are outside your comfort zone and help keep you on track by holding you accountable.
When you are hesitant or fearful to step into your power, with their collective wisdom and experience your teammates will empathize and encourage you to be bold.
When you are being careless or reckless, your teammates can share examples from their own lives where they wish they had slowed down or been more cautious.
For me, I can encapsulate my men’s team experience in this way. Because I was on a men’s team, every single important decision I made over the last 25 years was improved by talking it over with the men on my men’s team.
Summing up …
The shortest answer to the question about the benefits of being on a good men’s team is that the insights and suggestions from your teammates will be invaluable to you in making the best decisions for yourself.
But the benefits of being on a men’s team don’t stop there. Your teammates often become friends and the connections you make with them enrich the lives of all. Each member will help his teammates to become the best version of themselves. Each member will learn from the mistakes and experiences of his teammates and your collective wisdom will help all of you better handle situations in your lives.
My prediction is that, by being on a men’s team, you will evolve into a better man without actively realizing how much you have grown. If you are open, truthful and vulnerable with the men on your men’s team, you can be rocketed into a new dimension of yourself.
Key Take-aways:
A men’s team can help a man improve the quality of a man’s decisions
A man can benefit greatly from the wisdom and experience of other men
Beyond support to become the best version of himself, a men’s team offers a man deep friendship and camaraderie
